How to deal with the stress of life

 

The major life stresses that we all fear experiencing at some point in our lives can throw our world into disarray and permanently change who we are and how we view the world. If we can learn to view things a bit differently, they may also eventually make us stronger. Allow me to explain.


As we all know, stress is a typical aspect of being human—an aspect that the majority of us would want to do away with. Due to temperament, innate personality features, and how we've been taught (directly and indirectly) how to respond to trying circumstances, some people are more prone to feeling stress than others, and stress affects people differently for each of these reasons. 

While some people are more stress sensitive and receptive by nature, others are more resilient by nature.[1]


The good news is that although our innate wiring cannot be changed, research shows that we can take action to increase our resilience.[2] Forewarning: One of these actions is known as a "stress inoculation."


Top 10 Life Stressors

But first, we need to be aware of these stressors so that we can talk about how to strengthen our resilience and handle them. The top ten sources of stress are listed below.


1. When a loved one dies

This is undoubtedly the most difficult event to go through on a global scale. When someone we care about passes away, we may experience a range of emotions and struggle to understand our place in the world without that person.


Grief is a difficult process that differs from person to person. It takes time, sympathy, and understanding to cope with a loved one's death.


2. Separation or Divorce

For a variety of reasons, divorce or separation can be psychologically distressing, causing many people to feel shocked, helpless, betrayed, confused, and heartbroken. Re-establishing your identity in the world might feel intimidating, much like losing a loved one.

3. Relocation, Home Purchase, or Home Sale

Even the most composed individuals experience stress when buying or selling a home because of the high costs involved, the burden of a loan (often for the first time), being in a foreign environment, and the unpredictable process itself. In fact, 40% of Americans believe that purchasing a home is the most stressful experience they have ever had.[3]

4. Serious Disease or Injury

We may be affected by this incident in a variety of difficult ways. In addition to future uncertainty and the unpleasantness of relying on others for assistance or limited independence, our capacity to make a living and the way we are accustomed to participating in and making contributions to society may be abruptly put into question.

5. Job Loss

In this country, where the first thing people ask you when you meet them is "What do you do?" losing a job might feel like losing a significant portion of our identity.

Our ability to support ourselves or our families is impacted when we lose our employment. It fosters doubt about the future and may exacerbate our anxieties.

6 Marriage

Yes, a healthy kind of stressor, yet marriage has long been recognized as a major transition for many of
Learning to live with someone else and getting acclimated to the expectations and duties that come with being a part of a "married couple" can be difficult.

7. More financial commitments and decisions that involve money

Increasing our financial responsibilities or making significant financial decisions can tap into some of our deepest insecurities and worries, such as scarcity and self-worth.

Anyone can have sleepless nights if they feel confined in their employment and constantly feel the need to advance in order to meet their financial responsibilities.

8. Retirement

Another "fun" stressor is thinking about retiring, as many of us prepare our entire lives for the day we can finally retire.
For those who do, this also signifies a significant change in their identity and way of life. Realizing you are in your second half of life and having a more fixed income might be frightening.

9. Providing for an ailing or elderly family member

This can have a significant negative impact on people in addition to being physically and emotionally taxing. Many carers are unable to appropriately care for themselves due to their greatly increased responsibilities, which can include 24-hour care, opening the door to a variety of medical and emotional issues of their own.

10. Traumatic Events, including Pandemics, Crime, and Violence

There are many difficulties that can be categorized under this heading, but it appears that the main problem is rooted in the sense of helplessness.

How to Manage Stress


There is no perfect recipe that works for everyone because stress has various effects on each people. As a result, the best techniques and treatments are relatively individualized. The most efficient kind of management is a carefully crafted program centered on each individual.
It's critical to remember that how we handle everyday stress predicts how we'll handle major life crises.

The cornerstone of stress management is the adoption of regular healthy routines. It is more difficult for a strategy to be successful when it is put into action after a traumatic incident.

I like to use the analogy of being in the Wimbledon finals and needing to hit a tremendous kick serve to win the match since I'm a little tennis nerd. How likely are you to be successful if you don't practice your kick serve until you really need it? Not likely at all, am I right?

The same holds true for stress management. It might be more difficult to achieve your goals if you try to adopt new habits after the most painful, stressful, and life-altering events have already occurred.

Here are 12 suggestions for reducing stress in your life.

1. Recognize your emotions

Recognize your feelings related to the stressful experience and give yourself permission to process them. To begin with, this is the most crucial item.[4]

These incidents might all result in strong emotions. You can finally go forward if you are conscious of those feelings and choose an outlet for them. Perhaps you enjoy writing in a notebook, speaking with a friend, or creating art to express your emotions.

Pick something to try for a little duration (even five to ten minutes) and work your way up from there if you are unsure of what would work for you.

2. Internal Dialogue

Self-talk has a key role in how we interpret our stress levels on the inside.[5] As we mentioned, work through your feelings and emotions, but be careful not to make things worse for yourself by being critical of how you are managing things or the circumstance.
Stop criticizing yourself and try to be kind and supportive to yourself as you get through this difficult moment in your life, just as you would be for a friend or loved one.

3. Healthy Eating


Eating healthily boosts energy and can help control cortisol levels in addition to supporting a healthy immune system.[6] When we are stressed, we seek items (such as sugar and processed foods) that increase our stress. Instead, you should try foods like protein-rich foods and foods high in vitamin B that might help you feel less stressed and anxious.

4. Keep hydrated.

Allowing oneself to become dehydrated when you're under stress is among the worst things you can do. Even slight dehydration might make you feel anxious, depressed, have less energy, and have trouble thinking clearly.[8]

5. Attempt to Sleep Enough

This one is particularly difficult because, unlike maintaining hydration, which we can force ourselves to do, maintaining sleep when you have a lot on your mind is more difficult.[9] An easier time controlling emotions and an even quicker recovery from a stressful incident are both associated with getting more sleep.


Consciously practice proper sleep hygiene to increase your chances of success.

6. Engage in some exercise

Moving about to relieve stress is supported by a ton of studies. Exercise has been demonstrated to boost endorphin levels, enhance mood, improve sleep, calm the mind, and lessen the harmful effects of stress.

7. Be Picky About Your Environment

Be picky about the people you associate with, the TV shows you watch, and the news you read, in addition to your immediate environment. One of the tenets of neuroplasticity is this.

Our brain functions like a sponge, absorbing everything we expose it to and using that information to form our internal world.[10] Your brain will absorb this if you expose it to calm, tranquil, loving, and agreeable individuals and settings. It will also absorb the reverse if you expose it to it.

8. Establish boundaries and restrictions

It's crucial to be aware of your limits amid stressful situations. It is crucial to safeguard your energy by establishing constraints and boundaries and upholding them.

It's acceptable to express your needs and stand up for yourself. Everyone will comprehend. If they don't, that's probably exactly why you need to establish limits.

9. Breathe. Meditate. Relax.

To refocus and decompress, add some mindfulness to your daily routine. According to studies, mindfulness alters the structure and activity of the brain's attention- and emotion-regulating areas.[11] Improve the structure of your brain.

10. Establish a Strong Support System

Relate to others. It has been repeatedly demonstrated that spending time with friends, family, your church, your tennis team, your garden club, or a support group is an effective method for managing stress because it fosters feelings of trust, safety, and comfort, which reduce the body's reaction to stress.

11. Follow a Schedule

Knowing what to anticipate each day lowers stress and anxiety. In addition, routines can be enjoyable and support overall good mental and physical health.[13]

Finally, the most unexpected method of stress management may also be the most significant:

12. Discover a Method to Accept Stress

Alia Crum, an assistant professor of psychology at Stanford, is responsible for some of the most recent findings. Crum advises that we strive to adopt a mindset that welcomes stress.[14]

Right, this sounds a little crazy. Initially, I would say probably. But accepting stress is crucial because our perception of stress determines how we ultimately respond to it.

Crum advises attempting to develop alternative ideas about stress, such as 1) seeing stress as something you can handle and even knowing that you will learn and grow from the obstacles you face, and 2) seeing stress to be a regular aspect of life.

You can develop a technique known as stress inoculation based on the stories you tell yourself about the stressful circumstance. It turns out that following a very stressful incident, our brain undergoes major rewiring for several hours. Our brain retains an impression from this rewiring that will aid us in managing situations the following time something stressful occurs.

It's also important to note that research indicates that when stress is perceived as harmful, we are more inclined to use harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol and drugs.[15]

Final Reflections

Unfortunately, if you are a person, you will probably go through some significant life-changing experiences. Nobody can entirely prepare for crises, but by establishing excellent daily routines, one can make it a little easier to weather the storm.

Stress can sometimes be unbearable. Tell your doctor how you are feeling, and ask for assistance if you require it.